Trees gently console
the sound of rain ripped in two~
commuter rushing
…
That harder dribble
through the broken eavestrough gash
makes rain percussion
…
The odd piercing cry
cuts delicate morning rain
likely drenched Blue Jays
——————————————————–
All it took was hearing the sound of the rain this morning to get my mind to flip into haiku mode. There was so much sound coming from what at first was a hard summer rain. This subtlety shifted several times from a beautifully mesmerizing sound where there was absolutely no bird sounds… to my hearing this interesting dribble from the eavestrough. Incredible… And every so often a car would disturb this serene scene… Tearing though this delicate rain sound as if tearing it in two. People rushing to work on a dark rainy morning. Then a rumble from the thunderstorm passing through, not too close but still audible. The silence grew and then was replaced by gentler rain, and the return of the bird cries, Blue Jays seeming to object to the rains persistence. How to capture all of this?
I enjoy the pairing of the haiku and your explanatory text. The haiku stand strong on their own, yet I like reading your background musings and process for an even fuller experience of the moments.
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Thanks so much Ellen, I found it hard to capture so I thought I would include the commentary… I would like to break out and try a different style but I seem to always fall back to haiku 🙂
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I love the imagery of ‘rain tearing in two’. Beautiful haiku.
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Thanks Bianca and congrats on your first draft!! This was literally how it sounded to me, the commuter sound tearing the sound of the rain in two! I liked how that sounded when I wrote it so it stuck. 😉 ps I have been reading Death and Life slowly, the way I do when I don’t want to get to the end of a book I am enjoying. It is heartbreakingly beautiful work.
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It’s a great image because it’s so unexpected. Definitely inspired!
Thanks for your kind comments about the book – that makes me very happy 🙂
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Don’t know how I missed these; they’re lovely. Very visual and sensual.
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Thanks Rachael, this was such a good morning… I am glad I wrote these, because reading them takes me right back to that day 🙂
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