Today was day 27 of the Mind series, where we are settling in to the session per usual, and then recalling a time where someone said or did something that you didn’t appreciate or it made you feel a negative emotion. I recalled a series of events that culminated in a strange accusation, a bit of mind games by someone who is in my life who always pushes my buttons or so it seems. The feeling or emotion that arose was one I know well–frustration that cloaked deep-seated anger. I was able to stay with the feeling for quite a while, and the ‘discursive’ part of my mind started to try to talk back or suggest alternate ways to have dealt with the situation/memory. I knew I was getting caught up in thought which was not the purpose of the exercise, and was able to pull it back to just the feeling of this raging anger that I feel towards this person. I wonder how I will ever be able to let these resentful feelings I have toward this person go? I realize it is only hurting me when I dwell in these thoughts. I need to let them go, I understand this from an intellectual standpoint, but it is so challenging for me to let them go from a physical standpoint. I wonder how long it will take before I can just observe the emotion that surfaces and let it go? These meditation exercises are invaluable with respect to understanding how thoughts shape our lives. And to anyone who ever said that our thoughts don’t matter, wow. My realization is that thoughts are powerful ‘things’, they matter to everything we do. This was my motivation for today’s session. Understanding how my thoughts shape my experience, my interactions with others, basically everything.
- Anger Management: How to Keep Your Temper in Check (everydayhealth.com)
- Mindfulness and Negative Emotions (mind-revolution.org)