Day 14 Mind Series–(possible spoiler alert if you haven’t reached this point and are doing the Headspace program, you may not want to read this!)
It all started with a really interesting meditation session this morning…Mind Series…where we are dropping in the question…not anticipating what will come. Today my theme or feeling that surfaced was acceptance and peace. I don’t think I had ever felt so much peace…I still feel it even now…and there was this all-encompassing feeling that everything was ok. I didn’t need to worry. I felt like I was in good hands…. extreme guidance and acceptance that if this was my last day, I would accept it. And there was this awareness that I have been hanging on to so many petty things. SO many irritations!! I felt this tremendous unburdening and willingness to just go through each moment. Look at it as it comes…to not anticipate.
Andy even talked about this same sort of idea with ‘people’ in our lives…how we tend to put them in compartments in our minds…”oh she’s a friendly person”, “she’s a happy person”, or “he’s a negative person”. We tend (at least I know I am extremely guilty of this) to put them into boxes and think that they are not capable of being anything than what we consider them to be in our mental assessment. Are they not capable of being something else? I suppose they are and I guess I would not appreciate someone thinking I was a completely static, unchanging person.
It’s crazy though because when you actually meet people so much is riding on our first interactions with them…and this first impression is either strengthened or challenged by the frequency with which you interact with them. I guess it builds up this mental picture or triggers this bio chemical reaction that may come even when we simply see or think of the person. Actually, there is no doubt about this in my opinion. How else could anger build so suddenly when I see a certain person that I’ve grown to equate with frustration and anxiety? Or 9/10 times I equate with a negative experience ? It’s almost guttural, a reaction that has been built up over time that is very hard to change. But I imagine it can change.
It’s so interesting though. And to go back to how I felt after this session this morning, it was as if a huge cloud had moved on. The sky was very blue and clear. I felt open. I felt hope. I felt amazing and like a clinging human, didn’t want it to end. But the thing is, as I practice, I’m starting to become very aware of that feeling. I think this is likely the intent of practice…to be able to draw upon this feeling when I need to.