Sunday August 3, 2013
Meditation 7:10 am.
Late for my usual routine that includes meditation, writing and Lift. I give myself a bit of a break on weekends, in case there is any fatigue that could be remedied by a bit of extra shut-eye. Still, feeling a bit rushed, and recalling the squirrel-tastic entry from yesterday, I chose to mediate in my office this morning, window closed. Noted that just being in the office, as opposed to the more neutral dining room area allowed work thoughts to rush at me. I started to think (correction worry) about the workweek, which presented a new challenge as I sat to start this Headspace journey Day 2, of Part 2 of the Discovery Series.
The most interesting part of today’s practice was that the ‘noting’ is coming easier. We have started noting distractions (either feelings or thoughts) as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. At one point, I caught myself being lost in thinking about a poem I will likely write today, and as I labeled it “pleasant”…the voice I heard in my head as it labeled it such, slowed down and the word was drawn out, as if I didn’t want to let it go. “Plllleasssantttttt”….A smile crossed my lips, as I recognized my wanting to hold on to it. I could see the image of the magnificent flower I had created in mind, my subject, fade as I noted it as such. It felt strange to let go of it, but I managed to. This made me wonder about the connection they say exists between meditation and creativity…All of this transitioning in a mere matter of moments…
What I love about Headspace is the closing remarks; it is the glue of the practice… the meat of what I’m here for. Gathering the experience, and formulating it in the written word helps me process it. Solidifies experience. Understanding my mind and how I relate to it every day is one of the larger umbrella goals of my moving through this journey. I love the idea that with practice, I may be able to be aware of how my thoughts precede feelings, and how I will be able to view them as an observer, and not get so caught up in them all the time. Tangled up in thought is how I feel most days. This is starting to change, although ever so slowly.
Today we learned that this technique of simply ‘noting’ our feelings or thoughts as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral is encouraged as a mindfulness practice as we move throughout our day. The less rushed and gentler we can be while we do this the better apparently. I am still having trouble being even aware of my movements and transitions from stillness to motion in the body. Not very gentle with myself when I realize I’ve lapsed in what appears to be a very simple ask of myself. Maybe I can focus on this more today.